A Mom, a Blog, and the Life In-Between

Monday, April 30, 2007

To All My Betches

I had two of my dearest friends (D & K) over yesterday afternoon. We pigged out on guacamole and chips, chorizo, bagels and donuts (one of us - not me! - is pregnant, so it's o.k. We had to give her moral support). We didn't do much else besides sit at my dining table and talk about the same old shit we always talk about. With both Ben and Max off to the park and the house to ourselves, it was basically a perfect afternoon for me.

After the girls left, I found myself thinking about them, our friendship, and my friendships with other women as well. I've had a very interesting and fruitful year as far as friendships go. I've ended one friendship (really, for the good of both of us), reconnected with a childhood friend, and (hopefully) gotten closer to these two friends. And in starting this blog and becoming part of the local blog scene, I've been getting to know some women who are really just wonderful. When I think about all these individuals (as well as my three lifelong girlfriends), I feel so grateful for their presence in my life.

I think it's hard for women to make and maintain friendships in adulthood. I don't know why - perhaps because of underlying feelings of competitiveness, our own insecurities, trust issues - but at least for me, it just doesn't seem to happen. When I met D and K over three years ago and I saw how well we got along, I was overjoyed. We connected on so many levels and found that we could trust each other with some very personal things. Now that I don't work with them, I miss them all the time and have some great memories of our daily bitch sessions and heart-to-hearts. And as I begin new friendships with the women whom I've found (or found me) through this blog, I feel excited, nervous and hopeful that relationships will develop that are as simple or complex as they need to be, but that whatever they are, are mutually satisfying.

When I think of my own issues that I think make adult female friendships hard, I think it's mainly due to my insecurities. I want to impress; I want to be understood; I want to be related to and considered funny and honest and loyal (more on this last one in another post). And while I generally have a healthy dose of self-confidence, I have to confess that I worry at times that I have nothing important and necessary to offer my girlfriends. On some level I know that's not true, but when I feel like I'm being too opinionated and blunt with them, I wonder...

Either way, whether they are my old girlfriends - with whom I feel so comfortable and safe - or my new blogger friends - whose company and emails I have so enjoyed and whom I'm eager to get to know more - or my old/new friend from childhood - who shares my parenting philosophy and is a kindred spirit in so many ways - or my beloved D and K who always talk me off the ledge and accept me in all my neurotic, temperamental glory - these women have brought so much richness and depth and joy to my life. I thank them for that. They are playing a vital role in helping me be the woman I want to be, and no words can adequately express what that means to me.

My betches, you are fine, fine women and beautiful friends.

Labels: friendships, relationships, women

Posted by Tere @ 4/30/2007 | Permalink |

6 Comments

slouching mom posted at 4/30/2007 11:40 AM
I have two female friends about whom I could have written a post just like this. It makes life richer to have friendships like that, doesn't it?

Manola Blablablanik posted at 4/30/2007 11:40 AM
You are awesome, betch! :-) I'm honored to call you a friend.

D posted at 4/30/2007 3:26 PM
I'm all teary now. It's been a true pleasure to get to know you over the years. I adore the energy and knowledge you bring to friendship. I've learned a lot from you. Cheers betch!

bosley/charly posted at 4/30/2007 5:15 PM
¡Que bella! My heart is aching and smiling at the same time.

Jenny posted at 4/30/2007 5:22 PM
Ditto to the infinity power plus one.

Balou posted at 5/01/2007 4:17 PM
What a beautiful post, T. I came to the sad realization this year that the people I called friends were anything but. *sigh* Forgive me... I'm melancholy and PMSing.