A Mom, a Blog, and the Life In-Between

Monday, August 06, 2007

Race & Ethnicity: It Matters

I have, no kidding, about 12 posts sitting in draft mode. Everything from my review of a product to some randomness about an ex-boyfriend.

But I can't get to work on any one of them because they all seem so frivolous to me today. I've spent my morning muddled in something deeper, something that is ever-present whenever I'm perusing the blogosphere. Today, the pressing thought on my mind is race and ethnicity. And while everything is a jumble in my head right now, I feel a need to get these thoughts out there, to process it all, to join the conversation and say a few words on behalf of the Hispanic side of the blogosphere (Hispanic side, mind if I speak for you? Thanks!).

People. Gente. I don't want to tell you (again) that my hyphenated identity makes me feel left out in a community that is largely white. Because while this is still true, it is less true now than it was just weeks ago. The parenting blogging community has been (hopefully, rightfully) turned on its head after one of the panels at this year's BlogHer Conference (wherein Mocha Momma and CityMama raised very important questions of race, diversity and marketing in the parenting blog world).

One of the thoughts that's been rolling around in my head is the idea that race is invisible or non-noticeable on the blogosphere (this began with my inclusion/exclusion post at BlogRhet but has been expressed elsewhere). On one hand, I get it. I want you to see me as "Tere" - mother, wife, writer, all-around interesting human being. I want you to read me and email me and be my friend regardless of whether I'm white or olive or bi-cultural or speak English with a distinctive "Miami accent". On the other hand, I can't shake the feeling that only white people don't see color because well, they don't have to. When you're the majority and part of the race that dictates what's "normal", race isn't much of an issue to you personally. That's not to say that I've lived my life solely through the lens of being Hispanic (because let's face it: in Miami, I'm in the majority and it's white Anglos who are minorities), but I am well aware that, outside of South Florida, in person, that is what jumps out first, and that is what "marks" me, far and above anything else.

How does this translate in a medium like the Internet? I get why people would read someone else's site and not attribute a race or ethnic identity to them. I mean, even as someone who is proud of her Cuban heritage, that's not all I want you to see, nor do I feel compelled to work it into every post. So no, white people, when you say you don't see race, I'm not insulted. But I do wish you would see my ethnicity and recognize the monumental role it plays in making me me. And, just as I feel lost sometimes because of cultural differences, I am, in many ways, just like you. And whether you believe it or not, whether it has or hasn't occurred to you, you have as much to learn from me as I have to learn from you.

At the same time (paradoxically so?), race doesn't *matter* to me inasmuch as determining whom I will read. It is not the sole reason I would read someone; I need good substance to read a blog regularly. I greatly enjoy blogs by minorities - the voices they bring, the perspective they offer. I see a reflection of myself there sometimes, a recognition. But in looking for good content, and for content that I can relate to, race ultimately doesn't matter. Go figure. It's something I'm still trying to make sense of myself, even as I write it.

This issue has spun a tangent about marketing (or rather, the lack of it) to minority parents. And yeah, it's true: PR folks and companies don't hit up overtly ethnic blogs/bloggers. I can't begin to guess the reasons for this (oh, I could: ignorance, cluelessness about different cultures, misguided notions about particular ethnic groups), but it's been pointed out that marketers care mainly about hitting blogs that have high traffic numbers. In this regard, I think I fall somewhere in the middle, or perhaps I slipped through the cracks. I get a good number of pitches, many of which are irrelevant to me or what I write about. And as you can see on my sidebar, I'm now a member of the BlogHerAds network (which, I'll admit, I thought was only for very high-traffic sites). I don't know what the perception is on the marketer's end. Do they know I'm Hispanic? Do they care? Do they know that my traffic numbers are pathetic compared to the popular mom bloggers?

My attitude about this is that I'm happy to review products (and therefore provide free PR) for companies/things I would really use (but not anything else). I'm flattered that I'm "noticed". But you know, I would love to be contacted, to be asked my opinion and for reviews, to have advertising on my site, precisely because I am Hispanic. I would love for my ethnicity to be a highlight, a reason for - anything. Like Mocha Momma asked, where indeed is the Black/Hispanic/Asian/Indian Dooce?

The general question seems to be: does race matter in the blogosphere? The wonderful part is that bloggers of color are taking the issue head-on. For me, for this Cubanita, it does matter. I want you to know me as I am, as I see myself. I want you to expand your horizons and get to know people who are different, even as you make your way through the delicate topic of race and culture. I want to be part of a larger parenting/blogging community without feeling like my ethnicity is ignored or unimportant simply because the majority doesn't quite know how to address it.

I have found the best summation of my own feelings in what Julie wrote today, and I take her words to reflect my thoughts:

"Because while I don't think another person's race ought to matter to me, in my assessment of them, it can matter to them in how they feel a part of the world and therefore I ought to respect that, especially if they ask me to consider it as part of my understanding of them as an individual. I ask the same. My racial experiences are a part of me, too, and have affected how I view race, racial issues, and culture. Where I come from, the place and the people, affect who I am and how I perceive things, as well as my beliefs. I think this rings true for all of us, regardless."

There's more to be said on this topic. Other bloggers are asking good questions for this conversation to expand upon. I'll be tackling these as time allows and as my thoughts cohere.

(cross-posted at BlogRhet)

Labels: blogging, cuban-americans, culture, identity, parenting blogs

Posted by Tere @ 8/06/2007 | Permalink |

7 Comments

Julie Pippert posted at 8/06/2007 6:53 PM
You have done an awesome thing in being one of the first voices to bring this to the front. IMHO (or IMNSHO LOL).

And this is a great launch into a bigger discussion that I look forward to.

Plus, I am all warm and fuzzy that you quoted me---I'm so glad those words resonated with someone else. I wasn't sure if they got across just how deep this is for me, or what, exactly, I meant. Thank you.

Her Bad Mother posted at 8/06/2007 10:34 PM
Wonderful. I started leaving a comment at BR, but then thought that I should come over here, but then realized that I just have too much to say. This needs a post of its own. Thanks for the inspiration. :)

Miguelina. posted at 8/06/2007 11:35 PM
But I do wish you would see my ethnicity and recognize the monumental role it plays in making me me. And, just as I feel lost sometimes because of cultural differences, I am, in many ways, just like you. And whether you believe it or not, whether it has or hasn't occurred to you, you have as much to learn from me as I have to learn from you.

That paragraph above is perfect. You've expressed exactly what I've wanted to, but much more eloquently.

Joke posted at 8/07/2007 1:45 AM
I've been back-and-forth on a comment, because the temptation is to write a phonebook's worth here. So I figured I'd better do so as a blog post, instead of eating your bandwidth.

After writing it all down over there, I'm still not 100% happy with how I think my views come across.

The Cliffs Notes is that my perspective -- surprise! -- is somewhat, not totally but somewhat, different from yours. A lot of what matters to one person is irrelevant to another. That's not to say that a different perspective is in any way inferior. It's just different.

It gets complicated because there are SO MANY VARIABLES at play. From the Grand Variables such as race and ethnicity and religion, to where and when you went to school and with which kids you played. Those things that mold your character also shape the perspective through which you view the world and your place in it.

This all plays out in whether someone is (or feels) included/excluded or even thinks in those terms.

But most important of all, I believe, is being open to looking (or trying to) at the wider world though someone else's eyeballs.

(Actually more important than that is remembering to recharge your laptop's battery. GRRR.)

-J.

InTheFastLane posted at 8/08/2007 3:27 AM
Read this 1st over at BR and then wanted to see what else you had to say. It certainly made me what to get to know you. I think sometimes race and ethnicity is trickier for those of us in the majority, not because we don't care or don't want to know, but sometimes we are not sure that we are allowed to ask.

Tere posted at 8/08/2007 8:42 AM
InTheFastLane, I really appreciate your comment, and will keep your message in mind.

For me personally (and I guess every individual has their own preference), my feeling is that you can ask anything, so long as you ask it with respect.

destemplanza posted at 2/19/2008 11:05 PM
take 2. i tried leaving a comment last night/this morning, but i appear to have been wholly unsuccessful. i am so not a blogger! nor a reader of blogs, generally. i came across yours a couple of days ago when i googled something like "cuban blog" (no me acuerdo exactamente). i'm a 38 year-old cuban-american mom-to-be (just found out last week i'm pregnant!), so we seem to have a few things in common. one of the most important ones may be our love for the indigo girls. i hate to say it but i think being queer justifies my love; what's your excuse? ;) anyway, you seem like someone i'd like to know. it gets lonely sometimes as a cubana americana in the san francisco bay area (so far from home--miami). if you want to "talk," you can find me at carolyn@thisverymind.com

cuidate. and thanks for the blog!