Tuesday, January 29, 2008

We Have Made It This Far

This year marks 10 years that Ben and I have been together.

A decade. One-third of my life. It is something (accomplishment? impressive statistic? miracle? fluke?) that is hitting me very deeply. I find myself thinking a lot about our relationship – where it's been, where it's heading, why it is the way it is – and the only thing that is clear to me right at this moment is that neither he nor I are the same people we were 10 years ago, nor is our relationship the same.

This is not a bad thing. It is actually a wondrous thing to me, that we have managed, despite a lot of changes and hurt, to not just be together this amount of time, but to still be so invested in each other.

Ten. A decade. I keep rolling that figure over and over in my head, as if it was some magical number, as if missing pieces will now start falling into place and our life together will suddenly get easier, as if this seemingly large amount of time will protect us: we are too together now to ever be apart.

I don't really know if making it to 10 means anything, not in light of what some of those 10 years have been like. The hope I have, the thing that keeps me believing, is that we are better now - as a couple and as individuals - than we were five years ago, so very much so.

Still, right now, this thing, this 10, is very present in my mind. I think about all that lies ahead of us - the expansion of our family, the balancing of finances, the big decisions about so many different things - and I hope that this 10 has prepared us, taught us, fortified us.

We have come so far. We can go farther still.

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Posted by Tere @ 1/29/2008   | |

6 Comments

  • Blogger slouching mom posted at 1/29/2008 11:35 PM  
    Happy tenth, Tere and Ben.

  • Blogger Rick posted at 1/30/2008 6:51 AM  
    Every year should be considered an accomplishment, that's why they have anniversaries.

    Long ago, before computers were around, I clipped a Leonard Pitts column out of the Herald in which he talks about the challenges and rewards of marriage. It is so good that I have given a copy of it to a number of friends who have gotten married.

    Make sure I give you a copy next time I see you. I think you'll enjoy it.

    And congrats.

    .

  • Blogger The Hen posted at 1/30/2008 7:20 AM  
    Congratulations on the milestone, Tere. Being married nearly 15 years and having gone through a few storms, I can say that, for us, it is commitment to partnership and mutual like/love that keep us tied together even when the winds of hell blow through. Sounds like you got that. Marriage is an interesting, and worthwhile, ride.

  • Blogger Balou posted at 1/30/2008 7:55 AM  
    At the risk of sounding cliché, ten years IS quite an accomplishment in this day and age. It speaks volumes of your commitment to each other. Here's to another 10 (20, 30, 40...)!

    xoxo!

  • Blogger AmandaDufau posted at 1/30/2008 11:20 AM  
    "We have come so far. We can go farther still."

    Truer words...

    In February, it will be 11 years that Eric and I have been together. The obstacles get harder, but getting through them gets easier.

    Congratulations!

  • Blogger Joke posted at 2/02/2008 8:02 AM  
    If you both have managed to learn and grow, then 10 years is serious stuff.

    If you haven't...let me know when and where I should take cover.

    -J.

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