A Mom, a Blog, and the Life In-Between

Thursday, November 24, 2011

If I Have to Pick One Thing to Be Grateful for Today...

It's no secret that I find it trite to list out all the many things I'm thankful for simply because it's Thanksgiving. Even so, gratitude is not at all lost on me. Taking a moment to point out to myself at least one thing that's good, or going right, or a simple blessing became, somewhere along the way, a coping mechanism for me. If I could do that, I wouldn't be able to wallow in self-pity and despair.

So if I must summon everything I'm thankful for, the list is long and at the ready. But that list, it's too easy. I mean, my family and friends, that I'm healthy and employed, that love is abundant in my life... wonderful, wonderful, wonderful, but a given. I feel a different kind of joy when I'm randomly hit with the realization that some small thing is a whole new source of gratitude.

Last night, I was tidying up my dresser when I had this out-of-body sensation. I was suddenly aware of the calm in my house, and more importantly, the calm inside me. It actually felt a bit spooky, to be so aware of how calm I felt inside. I mean, my life is busy and full of plenty of things that I must juggle and dance delicately around and worry over, and even knowing that, I had the very certain sense that something inside me felt totally calm and anchored. This is a feeling I'm not all that familiar with.

Soon enough, I knew why: this is the first time in forever (or ever?) that I know my heart is safe. That I know my heart is safe. I can't even fully grasp the full depth of that notion. And yet, I know it's true. I finally have a life where the person next to me shares my values and honest-to-goodness strives to live a fulfilling, happy life. That's a very simple version of things, but from there all the love and thoughtfulness and kindness and help and support that he gives me springs forth.

How can I not stop and acknowledge such a wondrous thing? I see everywhere around me the effects of this love, from how I've become less high-strung (though I still have my moments!) to how I'm more thoughtful in my parenting to how I'm better able to kick back sometimes and be the old silly, dorky me without a shred of self-consciousness.

I have so, so many things to be thankful for, and I am. But my heart is calm, and it is safe in his hands and I know this in my bones. I stop here and let the magnitude of this one gift sink in, overwhelmed by its abundance.

Labels: holidays, love

Posted by Tere @ 11/24/2011 | Permalink |

8 Comments

Balou posted at 11/24/2011 1:51 AM
"... this is the first time in forever (or ever?) that I know my heart is safe. That I know my heart is safe. I can't even fully grasp the full depth of that notion. And yet, I know it's true."

I can't begin to tell you how many times over the last few years I have had that exact same realization. It's weird how it just pops into my head at the most random times and I just think 'I am so grateful for him.' I finally feel my heart is at peace. It's lovely to finally feel "this."

I love you, peanut! Have a happy thanksgiving and squeeze the boys for me (squeeze the little one extra hard!)

Blue Wit posted at 11/24/2011 2:11 PM
Oh Tere, I totally feel you on this. I am so grateful for my amazing husband that it scares me. For the first time in my adult life, I'm so... what's the word... FUSED with the energy that a man creates around him that I honestly cannot imagine what would happen if something bad happened to him, God forbid. He makes me feel happy to be me.

Anonymous posted at 11/27/2011 10:40 PM
Read my blog?
http://shortendofthestick21.blogspot.com
It would mean a lot to me :)

Meredith posted at 12/01/2011 3:05 PM
You are fabulous! :) Just discovered this blog and so quickly fell in love...thanks for sharing!

Caterina posted at 12/02/2011 10:11 AM
Wow. That was good. This should be published....because people NEED to read this. NEED. And so beautifully, beautifully written.

I am constantly bitching and complaining....I want this, I want that....and forget. Forget to be this kind of thankful & grateful.

Caterina posted at 12/02/2011 10:13 AM
Hmmm, I guess it already is published! Duh me :P

Thank you again for such great words and writing.

Lady Knight posted at 12/08/2011 6:14 PM
I really enjoy your post. I just started reading your blog. I'm a new blogger. I hope you have a wonderful Christmas also.

Tere posted at 12/11/2011 11:57 PM
Thank you, ladies! I'm so glad some of you know what I'm talking about. This feeling is something I never thought existed, much less that I would come to know it.