I own all the content and pictures on this site, except where noted. If you steal anything from me, and
especially if you do anything mean or inappropriate with them, I will find you. Then I'll sue you for
theft, slander, libel and any other law that applies. Then I'll ridicule you in humiliating ways
here and everywhere else I contribute to. If you fuck with me, I'll get get all Gladiator on your ass
and unleash hell. Think I'm kidding? So did my a couple of my exes, my old neighbors, as well as
some assholes who ripped me off on Ebay, and last I heard, they were all still trying to undo the
damage I caused.
The inherently bi-polar nature of getting married has officially claimed me as its victim.
Since I last wrote, I've swung from full-on panic to full-on excitement. It's truly strange and bizarre but infinitely amusing to me to see how excited! and happy! and thrilled! and SQUEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! I am about all this. I would say, "this is sooo not me," except that this IS me. This is the me I hold in tight control all the time to spare myself the crushing heartbreak that has followed every single time I've ever felt excited and hopeful about anything. It's just that at least this once, I don't want to be like that. And even if I wanted to be, it doesn't feel like I can contain this. I've never known this kind of happiness, and I AM thrilled to be marrying my great Jevo. This wedding is just the fun way we're going to kick the rest of our lives off.
The wedding plans are now full-blown underway. Venue? Booked. Honeymoon? Booked. Menu? Confirmed. Color scheme/event theme? Check. Invites? Designed, order to be placed this evening. My dress? Fabric picked and initial meeting with my aunt the seamstress held.
This last one is a boon for me: I'm getting a custom-made dress! Wheeee! I wasn't sure if my aunt would be able to make one for me, but she can, and I'm thrilled. This same aunt has made me a number of dresses throughout my life and fixed countless items that needed alterations. Not only am I happy to have my aunt make my wedding dress, which we've talked about her doing since I was a child, but I have to admit that I love having stuff custom-made. As a teen I'd design the dresses and she'd make them. Same for this dress, though it's more like I'm borrowing different ideas I've seen and liked and designing something from all that. (Ah, in another life I'd be a fashion designer and stylist....)
I'm now moving on to the fun stuff - flowers/decor, music, a fun surprise we're planning, and the ceremony itself. My early misgivings about putting all these things together from scratch have given way to excitement over the fact that I get to put everything together from scratch! I guess my creativity was finally sparked and I'm in the zone. Just this morning I picked my walking-down-the-aisle song, and all I can say is that Jevo is going to love it. Seriously, if that man doesn't burst into tears, he's not human. That's how I'll discover I'm actually marrying a robot.
There is just one thing weighing on me, which happens to almost everyone planning a wedding: the guest list. I'm officially having nightmares about it. On the one hand, what a blessing to have so many people to celebrate with. On the other, it's too damn many people to celebrate with. I hate how it all boils down to economics, but the plain truth is that we have a set budget that has no wiggle room. This isn't a mommy-daddy-are-paying wedding, or a put-it-on-the-card wedding. We're paying for this ourselves, which is what we want, but that also means that there's a specific amount of money, and once that's used, there's no more. And this is all just fine and a non-issue in all areas except in trying to keep the guest list manageable - which is made extra difficult by how adamant I'm being that this be a small, intimate, simple affair. Between that and the political and sensitive nature of this issue, we're so the perfect candidates for elopement. Too late for that now, though, so we better figure this out soon.
Ah, but even with this, what a fun time this is turning out to be, much more so than I expected. I keep trying to picture the day and hope it's as fun in reality as it is in my head. And then I think about after the wedding, and it's all I can do to not break out into a song and dance and swoon like a nutty ol' fool.
Mary G posted at 5/05/2012 10:29 PM
Guest lists are always trauma. We solved it for my daughter by holding the wedding and reception in a spot that would only seat 80. It still cost a whole lot. However, it is your and Jevo's day, so - whom do you want with you the most? Invite them. Send a gossip item out to everyone else that you would love to invite them, but the money is tight, tight, tight. Then ignore the whining. When is this event-of-the-decade?
Holly posted at 5/15/2012 12:20 AM
You're fabulous, and I'm so happy for you that you sound so happy! What a change from the tone of your posts from a couple years ago. And that's just as it should be -- a happy, beautiful bride! Just enjoy yourselves.
Tere posted at 5/15/2012 8:26 PM
Funny you say that, Holly, I've had the same thought myself, about what this blog was like 3-4 years ago. I'm so lucky that that darkness passed and found something so beautiful. :)