For a good chunk of days there, it was like I had no wedding to plan. I stopped all my planning, all my phone calls and emails and researching and ordering and confirming.  It was like I couldn't muster the time or energy or mental space to deal with any of it. Basically, my ADD kicked in and all of a sudden, I just could not focus on anything having to do with the wedding.

This happens with everything, the moment where everything about any given project feels too overwhelming and my brain shuts it off, and I just move on to something else. The hard part is getting me back to whatever I abandoned, which takes an inordinate amount of self-pleading and prodding. My wedding, it turns out, was not any safer than anything else.

To be fair, though, I was also sidelined by a medical emergency, what can best be described as "my ovary exploded," and looking back now (that was two weeks ago), I think the extreme pain I was in might have had something to do with my abruptly halting the wedding planning.

My ovary did not actually, explode, by the way, but that was exactly what it felt like. If you've been following along here (and given that I've been at it six years now, if you have, I want to take you out to lunch and give you a medal), you know that I've had PCOS half my life, and what happened was exactly what could have happened at any point over the last 17 years: one of the cysts was big and mean enough to burst in an excruciatingly painful way, and it did. Actually, no one knows if it was one huge cyst or a bunch of smaller ones all bursting at once. By the time I had an ulrasound, all that was left was the aftermath. Either way, the truth is, this happens on a much smaller scale all the time (how often, I don't know, since I can't feel it) when you have PCOS, so on some level, I knew this could happen.

So I was in awful, awful pain for days, hyper-alert to the fact that if the pain worsened it could be a sign of internal bleeding, and I guess the wedding fell off my radar.

But then about a week in, the pain subsided, a crazy week at work eased up, and I remembered I had that wedding to get back to.

I'm really enjoying this process, but honestly, I need to wrap up one big thing (the flowers - my florist dilemma is making me ill) before I can be all, "I have this in the bag, man!" I mean, I'm not losing sleep over this (although, the night we booked our honeymoon flight I had the worst, most harrowing flying-related nightmare EVER), but still. I want this to be all fun and exciting, and then bumps pop up along the way, and I'm just like, "EFF THE FLOWERS, I'll figure something else out!" I remain a bit frustrated at how some vendors I've encountered just don't get the notion that I want a SIMPLE event and don't WANT elaborate centerpieces or letter-pressed table numbers or any kind of "extra" or "upgrade." gggrrrrrrrrr