Tuesday, May 29, 2012

And then my Vanity Reared its Ugly Head

I don't want to look like crap on my wedding day. That's the bottom line. There's something about marrying in your near-mid-30's, when your body's been through childbirth and some health issues, that doesn't exactly scream "young, dewy bride," you know? While I think I look good on any given day, I don't know that my idea of "good" is really up to snuff for a wedding. But I want to look like the absolute best version of me on my wedding day, and I think I'm beginning to panic that it's not going to happen.

I started this process out by taking precautionary measures. I'm realistic about my body and designed a dress that I believe will flatter me. I'd also like to be comfortable on what I know will be an overwhelming day (and being able to breathe would be nice, too), so no tight dress for me. I also made a plan for my hair, including dates to cut and dye it (friggin' grays, man!), plus a discussion with my stylist about what might work best for me (simple, pretty, easy). I even budgeted for a whole new arsenal of beauty products - the high-quality, pricey stuff that's too much for my regular life but essential for a wedding day.

But right now I'm doubting the whole thing. What if I look like a bag lady in my dress? And my hair? Do I really think I can get it washed, dried and ready the night before so that the next morning I just have to pin it back? I'm not so sure I can even pin hair properly! And my makeup -- should I really be handling it myself? Will I layer it all on well enough so it works?

I'm now debating if I shouldn't have at least someone who can help me with my hair (maybe not a stylist, but just someone to help) and get someone to do my makeup. Like, a professional, which sounds both intelligent and ridiculous at the same time. Part of me feels like I'll be glad later that I left my face in the hands of a pro, but another part of me is totally rolling my eyes at myself. A makeup artist? For real? Nevermind that, with one or two exceptions, I've never liked how any professional has done my face (between being in bridal parties and having had a good friend who was a makeup artist, I've had my face done quite a few times). I never look like me, and I never think I look pretty. Worse, the foundation and concealer always, always, always look caked on, and, wedding or not, I refuse to go through that again.

There's also the fact that it just seems so silly and trivial to me, an indulgence that is just not my thing. I can justify getting my hair styled, as I am completely inept in that department and would happily be one of those women who gets her hair washed and styled every week if I were wealthy. But the makeup seems like a step in the direction of so-not-me-and-therefore-fake. I also have a slight fear that it puts me inches away from further ridiculousness, like false eyelashes. Before you know it, I'll also be sporting hair extensions, which in my mind would catapult me to obscene levels of stupidity. I may as well slap on some press-on nails and call it a day.

But then.... I'm back to where I started: I want to look pretty on my wedding day. I want to be reasonable and true to myself, but I want a bit of help. How silly to feel so vain about this. Silly, but true.


Posted by Tere @ 5/29/2012   | |


  • Anonymous Anna posted at 5/31/2012 6:25 AM  
    You are beautiful and I'm sure you will look gorgeous on your wedding day.
    But... let’s be honest you are a pretty anxious person so I recommend a makeup artist that you trust and that will make you look like yourself, just better. Same for your hair.

    If you want to really enjoy the day find some professionals that will take care of you before the actual event and you won't regret it!

  • Blogger Kfaulkner posted at 6/01/2012 12:58 AM  
    Yeah I worked in a salon for years. I recommend a practice run on hair and makeup. That way their wont be any surprises
  • Blogger Mary G posted at 6/01/2012 1:57 PM  
    Getting the hair done saves stress in my experience. As for the makeup, if you don't like pro results but are worrying, get a practice run as Kfaulkner said.
    But you will look beautiful because you will be happy and glowing, regardless.
    I have never seen a photo of you that I didn't love. So - last piece of advice - clean teeth(b'cause you will be smiling all the time) and stop worrying.

    Hugs from a grama who has been through it.
  • Anonymous Some Blogging Guy posted at 6/03/2012 7:08 PM  
    I remember reading your blog when you first started it, before the divorce. I am so happy to read about your upcoming wedding. Congratulations!

  • Blogger Freckle Face Girl posted at 6/04/2012 4:42 PM  
    I feel the same way you do - I think divorce + having a mom body makes that part of our new lives. Oh well. I'm sure it is mostly all in our heads.

    When I got married, I had my hair done professionally, but I did my own make-up. If you want to do your own, try a few practice runs yourself. There are some great video tutorials on youtube & pinterest. Either way, you'll look great!
  • Blogger Tere posted at 6/05/2012 9:55 PM  
    Thanks to you all for the blunt, honest thoughts (and good wishes)! I am totally getting a stylist and make-up artist to help me - no way I can do this alone and be ready on time and thrilled with how I look.

    Now I just need to FIND these people!
  • Anonymous Anonymous posted at 6/07/2012 5:45 AM  
    yeeah! good choice, can't wait to see the pictures! because you are going to post some, right??

    Best wishes!

  • Blogger Tere posted at 6/07/2012 9:23 AM  
    hahaha Thanks! Yes, of course I'll be posting pics! Though realistically, it'll be after the honeymoon and probably once we settle back in.

    The closest to real-time posting (which will really be a few hours later) I'll do is on my FB page and on Instagram.
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