I may not really be into Valentine's Day, but I'm not immune to society's efforts to shove it down my throat, and to an extent, I'm game. I don't care for gifts today, but am totally open to extra love and affection, which my boys are so very willing to give me, and for this, I am awash in joy and warm down to my toes.
I've been stressed these last few months because of work and school, though it comes in spurts. I'll have a couple of bad weeks as projects need to be completed and deadlines loom, but really, a lot of the *stress* is me trying to be organized and prepared, to not forget anything that needs to be done (no matter how many lists I write, the amount of must-do's gets overwhelming at times).
This semester, while a tad less stressful than past ones, is turning out to be frustrating for a whole other reason: I don't like how the prof teaches the class (I find it ineffective, making what should be a fun, compelling topic difficult to grasp and work with), and so I'm really not liking it. As it is, I have class tonight and am mighty bothered by that. I can't see how I'll be able to focus as my inexperienced professor races through the (long, complex, long) lesson, late into the night, when I know my guys will be home together without me. **sniff**
I feel this so keenly probably because I'm feeling so aware of how lucky I am to be me right now. To be this fully surrounded by love is simply the most wonderful thing ever.I have a man who is kind and patient and loving and affectionate and considerate, who does what he says he'll do (not at my pace, but hey, he ain't flawless), who consistently has a good spirit, a positive attitude, and a generous heart. That I can (and do) tell him anything and everything and it's always o.k. (and when it starts out not o.k., we just hash it out till it is) is something I've never, ever known, and it's still overwhelming every time I realize all over again how completely myself I can be with him, and - despite not always understanding me or agreeing with me - that he loves all of me. More even, that he accepts me. There is no overestimating how crucial this is. More than just about any other quality that matters, what I've wanted most is to be accepted as I am, to not have to feel conscious of, or justify, my quirks and way of being, and not be criticized for these. This love is incredibly generous and forgiving.